F O U R
by Reni-Chan
Summary: How do you feel an emotion that has been out of your reach for a thousand years? Can you feel it at all? When you've been blinded to the truth of humanity for eons, how do you react when you are confronted with it? Shuichi Minamino x Botan. SPOILERS.
1. L I F E

F O U R:

Summary: How do you feel an emotion that has been out of your reach for a thousand years? Can you feel it at all? Can you even tell it is there? When you've been blinded to the truth of humanity for eons, how do you react when you are confronted with it? How do you cross a line you only just realized is there? [KB] [Shuichi Minamino x Botan] SPOILERS.

**Title: **F O U R

**Series: **Yu Yu Hakusho

**Genre: **Romance / Drama / Angst

**Pairing: **Kurama / Shuichi Minamino x Botan

**Rating: **T

**A/N: **To give you a quick idea of what's going on without giving too much away, this story deals with emotional handicaps, time, and a little bit of identity crisis- but not the way you're probably thinking. Also, it takes place a few years after the end of the series (More specifically... probably the end of the anime, if only to avoid the complications of messing with a canon pairing. (Also, to bend time to my will: I set Genkai's death about a year after the end of the anime, instead of right at the end of the manga.)

**HOWEVER! **I'm writing this with Kurama's appearance as seen in the manga: _Black hair and brown eyes._

Also- **Don't get confused by the pairing I listed: I treat "Kurama" and "Shuichi" as a single being. I don't consider the fox spirit an alternate persona and Shuichi probably won't even take that form in this story. Anyway- That's (most of) the basics as to why this story is listed under Shuichi x Botan and not Kurama x Botan. (Despite the fact that I'll probably get fewer readers because of it.)**

F O U R:

Chapter One:

L I F E:

S H U I C H I

Sometimes it was hard to believe that life moved on. Shuichi had spent such a long time involved with Rekai and the Makai Kingdom that sometimes life in the world of humans seemed incredibly slow and uneventful. He found joy with his family, of course, but outside of that he was at a loss as to what to do with himself. College proved more challenging than high school and middle school, but not by much. He was... popular with his fellow students, but had little in the way of friends among them. As they say: Admiration is the furthest thing from understanding.

He still saw Yusuke (And with him, Keiko) and Kuwabara (And with _him_, Yukina and Shizuru) occasionally, and Hiei rarely- But Koenma, Botan, their friends from the dark tournament and other adventures, never. Not once since... Well, since Genkai died. The funeral was the very last time they had all been in the same place.

Things were different now, but- He'd chosen this path. It certainly was strange- going so long without tapping into his Yoki. He wondered if someday it would simply... fade away. He supposed it didn't matter: it was part of a different life- a chapter he'd closed.

Shuichi had no intention of any further involvement with Rekai, or Makai. How was he to know that fate had other plans in store for him? That a prominent character from that closed chapter would soon stumble into his life?

It happened one autumn day while the dark-haired young man was out buying groceries. He had honestly never expected to see her again- What reason did she have to come to the human world except to ferry human souls? Still, she was there- blue hair and all- gathering groceries fallen from the bottom of a torn bag.

Shuichi wasn't sure at first that it even was her. He saw enough strange hair colors walking through the downtown area that it wasn't an immediate signal. Still, when he knelt down to help her, he was sure: The recognition on her face was clear. "Kurama-kun!" Shuichi's own eyes widened in surprise. "Botan... What are you doing here?"

How long had it been? Two? Three years? Botan smiled, "It's been so long! I just finished training about twenty new ferry girls, so I've been given an extended vacation. I decided I 'd spend it here in the human world- but I'm blabbering. How have you been, Kurama-kun? How is your mother?"

"It's Shuichi now." Said the black-haired young man, gathering up a carton of ice cream and a tube of toothpaste. "Though- I can't seem to get Yusuke and the others to call me that. I'm doing fine- Mother is in perfect health. I'm living in a dorm now, and I'm busy with classes, so I don't get to see her as often as I'd like."

Botan blinked a few times. "Ohh, right! You're a college student now, aren't you? I thought you looked a bit older. I'm sorry- You see, time passes a bit differently in Rekai. I've absolutely lost track of how long it's been!" She laughed. Shuichi smiled. "Three- No, four years. I don't know if it's surprising or not, but- you haven't changed a bit."

Botan laughed, getting to her feet. "Oh you. Thank you so much for helping me with my groceries." She said, putting some of the lighter things in a different bag. Shuichi frowned at the amount of bags- She'd have a hard time getting those home by herself. "Would you like some help carrying them?" He asked. Botan made a surprised face, then looked at the bags herself. "I guess... I might've bought a little too much to carry myself." She laughed again. "Awfully silly of me, huh? Sure- If it's no trouble."

Shuichi smiled, picking up three bags. He wondered how she thought she would carry them home by herself. "None at all."

He wasn't sure how he felt about meeting Botan again- He'd promised himself he'd never get involved with anything related to Rekai again, and here he was helping a ferry girl carry her groceries. Still, it was Botan: She'd been there through every adventure and had been a good friend to himself and the others. It was good to see her... right?

B O T A N

Kurama- _Shuichi, _Botan corrected herself, _He's going by Shuichi now. _Shuichi did look different. Taller, older- He'd even cut his hair: It now only reached his shoulders. She wondered how much the others had changed. They would all- except for Hiei- be in college now, wouldn't they? Well, perhaps not Yusuke. It was... strange. Botan hadn't really been close to any humans before, so the fact that they aged so quickly had never had a very prominent place in her thoughts. It occurred to her that any passerby on the street would assume Shuichi was the older of the two of them. At the age of- He was sixteen when Genkai died, wasn't he? so- twenty, he already looked like a mature young man- Botan's appearance was that of a girl at least three or four years younger than him. As he had said, she hadn't changed a bit.

"Do we turn here?" "Uh? Um- yes! We turn right here. Just a little further, now."

Botan adjusted the paper bags in her arms, still thinking. It really had been a long time... She wondered how Keiko and Yusuke were doing- Had they gotten married? Keiko had told her of Yusuke's proposal at Genkai's funeral... The last time Botan had been permitted leisure time in Ningenkai. She supposed they must have- unless Yusuke had really messed things up. She still wished she could've gone.

Botan realized she was thinking too much. She was on an extended vacation, after all- She would be able to go see them. Shuichi probably knew where they lived. She'd have to ask him about it later. Anyway- What was wrong with her? Here she was with a friend she hadn't seen in four years, and she wasn't even talking to him!

"So! How is college, Shuichi-kun?" Shuichi glanced at her for a moment, seemingly surprised by the sudden return of conversation, then turned his concentration back to the city. "It's fine. I'm not having a hard time of it, anyway. I'm aiming for a major in education and minoring in horticulture- I'd like to be a professor, some day."

Botan smiled. "I'm sure you'd be a wonderful one. I do hope you're not cheating in your horticulture classes, though." She teased. A smile spread across Shuichi's face that Botan could not decipher. "No. I haven't used my powers since the Makai tournament." Botan's eyes widened. "But- It's been five years since the Makai tournament! You haven't used your powers at all for five years?"

Shuichi nodded. "I've decided to live as a normal human. I've had nearly nothing to do with Makai for five years- nearly nothing. It's hard to avoid having _anything_ to do with it when I'm friends with a Mazoku and Koorime." He said with a soft laugh.

"Hm..." Botan pondered this. _So that's why he's going by Shuichi... Even with me and the others. _"What about Yusuke and Kuwa-chan? Do you know if those two have cut ties with the Makai?"

"No and... Almost. Yusuke participated in the recent Makai tournament, and Kuwabara... Well, he wasn't involved with the tournament, but he has been talking with a few youkai about a surgery for Yukina."

Botan's eyes widened. "Surgery? Whatever would Yukina-chan need surgery for?"

"Calm down." Shuichi said in a reassuring voice. "She's not sick, or injured, or anything like that. In fact, she's better than ever. She and Kuwabara were married a few months ago- the surgery is necessary because of Yukina's race. You may not have heard of this, Botan, but Yukina is from an entirely female race- they reproduce asexually. If they... mate with a man, they will have twins- one girl and one boy, just like with Yukina and Hiei- however, having a son is deadly to one of Yukina's race. I suggested to Kuwabara and Yukina that they ask Koenma to simply make her human, as compensation for their aid in saving humanity, but Kuwabara wants a back-up plan, just in case."

Botan smiled. "Well, I could put a word in with Koenma about that. Still- only a few months ago? That certainly took a while, didn't it?"

Shuichi laughed. "Well, I'm partially to blame for that: I told Kuwabara to wait a bit on starting a relationship with Yukina- I had to talk Hiei around. Even then... You might've noticed that Yukina was completely oblivious to Kuwabara's feelings. It took a while for him to get those feelings across, and he was a bit hesitant to propose."

Botan raised an eyebrow. "Hesitant? Kuwa-chan?"

Shuichi shrugged. "Turns out he has a fear of rejection."

Botan smiled, a bit sadly. "So, I've missed another wedding. I don't suppose Hiei and Mukuro decided to tie the knot while I was in Rekai?" "Hm... You might have to wait a while for that one." Kurama said, half-serious. "A long while."

Botan giggled. "Well, I'm not missing another one- When you get married, someone had better find a way to send an invitation to Rekai." She joked. "On that note- What about you? Anyone special in your life?" Shuichi shook his head. "Not at the moment. Are we getting close now? To your home?"

Botan glanced around. "Ah! We are, it's just around this corner."

S H U I C H I

Botan's apartment was very nice- a fifth floor loft overlooking the city, with a large living room, bathroom, and a full kitchen. Shuichi assumed Koenma had arranged for it. The blue haired ferry girl asked, stocking her shelves, "Are you hungry, Shuichi-kun? It's about dinner time, would you like me to make something?"

"Ah- You don't have to go to any trouble-"

"Oh, nonsense!" Said Botan, with a dismissive wave of her hand. "You _did _help me carry my groceries home- the least I can do is make you some dinner. Do you like oden? It's the perfect weather for it."

Shuichi sighed, knowing he wouldn't win, and acquiesed. "Fine- Thank you." "Not a problem at all!" Said the young-looking woman, now removing items from her shelves. Shuichi took a seat on a rather pink chair- whether Koenma had arranged for it or not, the apartment was Botan's taste. He glanced around the room, noticing that it was filled with little signs of Botan's cheery personality- he laughed a bit to himself at the maneki neko on a shelf, and noted with a smile about five vases of peonys.

"So, how have you been, Botan?" Shuichi asked. They'd done nothing but talk about him and the rest of their friends on the way over, and he was curious as to how her life was going.

"I'm alright. Things have been a little... strained, for some time now in Rekai, so it's good to have a break. Enma-sama is still having trouble trusting Koenma-sama since the whole Mazoku fiasco- but give it a few hundred years and things will be back to normal- everything fixes itself soon enough."

Shuichi had been a bit surprised to hear her speak of a few hundred years as if they were a few months- or a few weeks. He'd forgotten again that Botan was not human, and came from a world that saw time differently than his world did. Even if he no longer acknowledged the youkai parts of himself, he should have remembered: when one has lived a few hundred years, the days, the weeks, sometimes even the months begin to run together. Surely Botan had lived for some time. He should not have been surprised at all, but it was so _easy_ to forget that Botan wasn't human.

"You don't have any food allergies, do you?"

At least until she stuck her head through the doorway and Shuichi was confronted again by the lack of change in her after four years. How many human women would kill for that- to look sixteen forever? Still, it was unsettling to Shuichi. They could have been relaxing after a battle in the Dark Tournament, and the only thing that would remind him otherwise would be looking in the mirror- realizing that _he, _at least, had aged. Botan was like a photo from the past, a reminder with every glimpse of everything that had happened four years ago.

"Not that I know of- and I've had oden before, so there shouldn't be any surprises there."

She laughed- that same girlish giggle that she had for as long as he had known her. No, nothing had changed at all. Botan was the same Botan she had been since he had known her, with not even the slightest change. He supposed it was the human part of him that couldn't reconcile itself with this. After all, youkai aged so slowly that it was almost inperceptible if they ever changed. Almost. There were still more obvious changes in youkai after four years than there were in Botan.

He shook his head as she went back to the kitchen. There was no need to worry about it, or think too much about it. After a bit of time he would become used to it, and no longer be surprised by the lack of change. Surely.

B O T A N

Stirring the stew and humming quietly to herself, Botan heard a phone ring in the front room. She almost left her cooking to answer it, but then realized that it wasn't hers. After all, who would be calling her? Koenma was the only one who had the number, and he had other ways of communicating. Realizing Shuichi was getting a call, Botan turned back toward the oden, intending to mind her own business. However, it was quiet in the apartment and the only thing separating the kitchen from the front room was a thin wall and a doorless entryway. Of course, Botan couldn't help but listen in. Just a little bit.

"Hello? Oh, Yusuke. How are you?" Botan froze, staring down at the boiling stew. If she had been trying to respect Shuichi's privacy before, she wasn't now. "Oh, that's because I'm at... a friend's place."

Was he going to tell Yusuke that she was here? Suddenly Botan wondered if she was ready to see every one again. Was she emotionally prepared? Just seeing how much Shuichi had changed- seeing how much his _life _had changed- was she really ready?

"... Just an old friend from school. ...Hm? Yes, she's a girl, why?" Botan furrowed her brow. Why hadn't he told Yusuke-

Shuichi's voice rose, indignant. "I'm not _you! _Please, keep thoughts like _that _to yourself!" Botan glanced at the opening to the front room, wondering what Yusuke had said to set Shuichi off. "Yes, alright. I'll talk to you later."

The pink eyed girl returned her gaze to the oden, realizing it was nearly done. As she set herself to grabbing dishes, she couldn't help but ask, revealing her eavesdropping, "Why didn't you tell Yusuke I was here?" Shuichi didn't reply for a few moments, but finally said, "When you decide you're ready, you'll tell him yourself, won't you?"

"... Yes. So- what did he say that upset you so much?" Shuichi again took his time answering. "Some very... crude things, that he probably wouldn't have said if he'd known it was you." It took Botan a few seconds, but she eventually felt heat rising to her cheeks at the improbable though that she and Shuichi might do... whatever Yusuke had suggested. She shook her head, embarassed. "Um- oden's ready!"

A/N: I'm not sure if that's the best place to stop it, but I think it might have run on forever if I hadn't.

I'm still trying to decide how long this will be. The length will certainly affect the pacing, so I really need to figure that out. I do intend for Yusuke and the others to show up, but probably not in the next chapter. I really don't want to rush. (That's why I'm unsure about that call from Yusuke- but the topic won't be coming up a lot for a while, so I think we're okay.) Phew.


	2. F E A R

F O U R:

Chapter two:

F E A R:

B O T A N

The question shouldn't have come as a surprise, but it did. She should've been able to answer easily, but she couldn't. She shouldn't have been so confused by her own lack of action, but she was. She should've known what to do next, but she didn't.

"So, when are you going to let Yusuke and the others know you're here?"

It had been a week since she had had that chance meeting with Shuichi- longer than that since she came to Rekai- and they had met up a few more times to catch up, but she had yet to contact any of their other friends. Shuichi had even given her Yusuke's and Kuwabara's numbers, but she still hadn't picked up the phone to call them. Every now and then her gaze would pass over the phone in her living room, and she would think about calling them. She would get as far as reaching to pick up the phone before thoughts such as, "Well, they might be busy- I don't want to bother them," and, "I've only been here a week, I have plenty of time to see them or talk to them later," would pull her hand back. She kept rationalizing it to herself, just like that. She would constantly tell herself that she would call them later, but she never did.

Why? Was it the shock of her meeting with Shuichi that caused this... fear? There was no other word for it- Botan was afraid- but what was there to be afraid of? Why was she so scared of seeing her friends again?

"I- I-..."

That single question made Botan wonder... If she hadn't met up with Shuichi by accident, would she have seen any of her friends during this vacation? Would she have made any attempt to contact them, or even find out what had happened to them?

"Um- Don't worry about it. If you're not ready to see them, then don't pressure yourself." Said Shuichi, a sympathetic- but a bit confused- expression on his face. He seemed perplexed by Botan's unwillingness to see their friends again. The blue-haired girl could understand that. What sane person wouldn't want to see their dear friends after four years apart?

"No, I need to call them. I can't believe I've been taking so long to do it. Tonight. I'll call them tonight."

This resulted in a staring contest with her phone. Botan sat on the arm of her pink sofa, clutching a pillow to her chest and taking deep breaths to steady herself. A fine sweat was beginning to bead on her forehead, and she blamed it on the fluorescent lighting. The pink eyed girl descended from her perch to turn off the light, then plopped back down again, digging her fingers deep into the down of her pillow. She glanced from the phone to the scrap of paper next to it. Scrawled in Shuichi's quick handwriting were the names Yusuke and Kuwabara, with numbers written under them. One more deep breath, and Botan picked up the phone. With a shaky hand, she began to enter the first few digits of Yusuke's number.

_"Going back to being a plain old ferry girl, Botan? Jeeze- that's gonna be pretty boring after all the crap we went through, huh?"_

_"We're going to miss you, Botan-chan- and... I just realized recently, I never thanked you for helping to bring Yusuke back to life, did I? I can't believe I did that. Thank you so much, Botan-chan. You have no idea how much I wish I could repay you."_

Her finger froze above the last number, and tears filled her eyes. Her brow furrowed in confusion. Why was she crying? She hadn't cried when she met Shuichi again... How in the world was this any different? Was it the situation? She had had no control over her meeting with Shuichi- it had just happened. She hadn't had time to think about it, and her memories hadn't had time to come rushing back and cripple her. Now, though, it was different. It wouldn't be by chance- some wrong number wouldn't put her on the line with Yusuke or Keiko. It wouldn't be by anyone else's will, either. Botan had to make this decision herself, without any help from the other people involved.

She couldn't do it. She couldn't call Yusuke- not yet- but maybe...

She put the phone down and picked it back up, keying in Kuwabara's number as fast as she could, so she wouldn't have time to think about it. It was half cheating, calling Kuwabara first. He would surely tell Yusuke, and then Botan wouldn't have to worry about making that move. Botan tensed as she heard the ringing tone of the other phone, and waited for someone to pick up. She could handle this. She could. It was Kuwabara- he would say something that would ease the tension- whether or not it was his intent- maybe ten seconds into the conversation, Botan was sure.

"Hello?"

Kuwabara wasn't the one who picked up the phone. Botan's pink eyes widened at the female voice that had aged since she had last heard it. Still, she recognized that voice immediately.

_"Goodbye, Botan-san. We will miss you very much."_

Within seconds the phone was back on the reciever, and Botan's breathing had quickened.

Why couldn't she do it? Why couldn't she do it? It wasn't just that Yukina had answered the phone- it was also that the voice she had answered with had changed from the one Botan remembered. Shuichi's had deepened a bit as well, and Botan was sure the same had happened to everyone else. Not just their voices, their appearances. Not just their appearances, their lives. Shuichi was in college, studying to be a professor. Kuwabara and Yukina had gotten married. Keiko and Yusuke weren't the middle school lovebirds Botan had once known.

As with all humans, their lives had moved forward. They weren't the same as Botan- frozen in time, leading the same life in perpetuity- and that frightened her. They had changed, and would keep changing, and she would not. Ever. She had always known that, so why was it so shocking to her now?

Had she really always known that? Or had she simply and conveniently forgotten their humanity? Pretended she didn't know their lives would continue to move on while hers didn't? Continued to move on without her?

A tear made its way down Botan's face. That was why she couldn't so much as call her dear friends. Because their world didn't stop when she left it. Because their lives continued without a hitch when she was gone. Because no matter if she never saw them again, they would be able to continue down a constantly changing road that led somewhere- unlike her. There was no destination for Botan. All she had was the scenery on the side of the path she would continue to walk even when her feet began to bleed and ache. Yusuke had been right, when he joked around about her going back to being a ferry girl. Botan's time as assistant to the Rekai Tantei had ruined her.

Botan pulled that same pillow she had been clinging to closer. The "scenery" on her path hadn't changed for thousands of years, and now that the short change in it was over, she could no longer live her "life" without longing for that-... that "human" feeling she had had with the Rekai Tantei.

The blue haired immortal buried her face in the pillow she clutched tightly to her chest, sobbing. She couldn't just walk back into their lives like nothing had changed. Everything had changed. Her friends were as good as strangers to her.

S H U I C H I

Dark eyes stared up at the ceiling of the dorm, as Shuichi tried and failed to get some sleep. He had an important test in the morning, and would need his rest in order to perform to the best of his ability. His mind was too occupied, though, to let him slumber.

It didn't make sense. Botan had seemed so excited when they had found each other in front of that supermarket. She had been very curious about the lives of their friends, and had seemed excited when he had given her their numbers- so _why? _Her expression had been absolutely terrified when he asked when she would contact the others, and that perplexed him completely. What did she have to fear from meeting them again? Surely that would be a happy occasion- wouldn't it?

When he had spoken to Kuwabara on the phone earlier, his old friend brought up something odd. Yukina had answered the phone while he was out, and had gotten the strangest call. Seconds after she answered she heard a strangled gasp, and whoever was on the other line had hung up. The other man had sounded irritated, because the call had somewhat frightened his wife. Shuichi, however, knew Yukina had nothing to be afraid of. He knew just who had called and hung up so quickly- but he didn't understand why. Botan got along with Yukina very well, so why hadn't she been able to talk to her? It seemed to Shuichi that Botan would be absoutely giddy to talk to Yukina, and congratulate her on her marriage.

Botan's actions were turning into a strange riddle for Shuichi to solve. She just wasn't acting like the Botan he knew. Something was wrong.

The very next day, after his classes were over, he called Botan's house- no answer. He tried the mobile number she had given him, and it didn't even ring. Her happy voice informed him that her phone was off or she couldn't get to it. Strange. She had told him that she would keep it turned on and on hand at all times. He tried her home phone again, and it rang four times before repeating Botan's answering machine message. He left a short few sentences for her, then hung up. This was very odd. Even if she was out of the house, what could Botan be doing that would require turning off her cell phone?

Realizing just how much he had been thinking of the Botan situation lately, Shuichi shook his head. He was overthinking things, and when Botan decided to let their friends know she was there was none of his business. He was getting way too wrapped up in her life, and that went completely against his decision to no longer involve himself with Rekai. He needed to focus on his own life, not the life and actions of a ferry girl. Even if it was Botan, he was getting too involved. She would deal with her problems on her own, and on her own time. It wasn't his problem.

Still, he was getting worried. Against his better judgement, he called her again, and again, later that day. Her mobile phone was never on, and her home phone was never answered. He wondered again about her cell phone being off. Perhaps she was avoiding someone's calls? It occurred to Shuichi that Botan probably didn't know many people in Ningenkai- aside from their friends, and none of them had the number- and probably knew very few people -if any- well enough to give them her number.

In fact, it wouldn't be much of a stretch to assume that he was the only person who knew that number.

Was Botan trying to ignore him? That didn't make sense- he couldn't think of anything he had done to upset or offend her, much as he went over their latest conversations in his head. Still, why else would she turn her phone off for the entire day, when she had told him she always had it on? Shuichi took a chance on this guess, and called her home phone one last time.

B O T A N

This whole "vacation" was starting to look like a complete bust. Why had she even come to Ningenkai? What had she expected from a few weeks away from Rekai? She hadn't even planned on seeing any of her old friends again, so what exactly had she planned to do here? Botan couldn't even remember. She blew on a spoonful of soup before raising it to her lips and slowly slurping it down.

The phone rang in the living room. The pink eyed ferry girl made no move to answer it. She hadn't answered the phone the entire day, and wasn't going to answer it now. Earlier that day she had recieved a message from Shuichi, informing her of the result of her phone call to Yukina, and asking her to call him back. She wouldn't, of course. Continuing to see Shuichi had been a mistake. They would both be better off if they did not continue to associate with each other. Still, she was too much of a coward to tell him that. She would just ignore him, and eventually he would give up on her.

However, he had seemed determined to get in contact with her all day. He kept calling, even though she never answered, and Botan was beginning to get frustrated. Did he not realize that she didn't want to talk to him? Apparently he didn't. "Botan, it's Shuichi. I'm sorry if I'm wrong, but- are you screening your calls? Or are you just not answering your phone at all? I'm the only person who knows this number, aren't I? And your cell too? I don't know what I did to upset you, but whatever it was, I'm sorry. Please answer your phone, Bo-" The answering machine cut him off.

Tears dripped into Botan's soup. "It's nothing you did, Shuichi," She whispered to no one, "it's me." She rubbed her eyes with the sleeve of her pink sweater, sniffling. Who did she think she was fooling, coming here? She just wasn't strong enough to face the truth, and she definitely wasn't strong enough to face her friends. She shouldn't bother Shuichi anymore, she knew. If she continued to be in contact with him, she would only trouble him with her weakness.

She got to see one of her dear friends again. That was enough. She would stay in Ningenkai for the remainder of her vacation, then return to Rekai, and if she never saw Shuichi or her other friends again, well...

...Then that would be what happened.

S H U I C H I

Three days had passed, and Botan was still not answering her phone. Shuichi constantly told himself that he needed to stop worrying so much over this. Botan probably just didn't want to talk to anyone, it might not have been him, specifically, that she was ignoring. It was her decision to not contact him, and there was no point in calling if she wasn't going to answer. This was Botan's problem, and if she didn't want to talk to him about it, then it was none of his business. He was getting too involved.

Still, he continued to call her, and constantly checked his phone for any attempts by Botan to call him back. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Curiosity was getting the better of him as he tried to figure out what was going on. There was no reason he could think of for Botan's actions. What was going on?

He finally got his answer on that third day, when his phone began to ring while he was visiting Kuwabara and Yukina. Kuwabara had gone to answer his own phone- a call from his sister- and Yukina was the only other person in the room. "Pardon me a moment." Said Kurama, reaching into his pocket. Flipping open the phone, he saw Botan's name on the screen. His eyes widened and he quickly hit the answer button- probably surprising Yukina with his action. "Hello?" He almost said Botan's name, then remembered his present company. The voice on the other line possessed little of Botan's usually chipper tone. _"I want you to stop calling me, Shuichi-kun." _Said Botan's voice. _"This is the only time I'm going to say it. Quit calling, because I'm not going to answer."_

"But why?" Asked Shuichi quietly. Yukina tilted her head to one side, obviously wondering about Shuichi's sudden change in mood. "Why have you been ignoring my calls?"

_"You should just delete my number from your phone." _Continued Botan, seeming to ignore him. _"I don't want to talk to you, and besides, you don't need to get involved with me anymore. You said you've cut ties with Makai, but you've also done the same with Rekai, haven't you? So it's better if you don't see me. You shouldn't bother with me anymore, Shuichi-kun."_

"Why are you saying this? What's wrong?"

_"It's not your fault, if that's what you're thinking. It's me. I-... I don't want to see you anymore. Stop calling. Goodbye."_

"Wait! Don't- damn it..."

"What happened, Shuichi-san? Who was that?" Wondered Yukina. Shuichi heaved a sigh, pocketing his phone. "It was... An old friend of mine. She's having some difficulties right now."

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. Well, I hope things get better for her soon." Shuichi nodded. "Me too."

Shuichi once again lay in bed staring up at the ceiling that night. He replayed that conversation over and over in his head, growing more irritated each time. How exactly did she expect him to leave her alone now, after that call? He was already confused by her sudden reclusiveness, and then _that? Why _didn't she want to see him anymore? What the hell was going on with her? Her suggestions that he no longer bother with her echoed his thoughts that he was getting too involved, but- what had happened? The thought occurred to him that if she was now cutting ties with him, then she probably had no intention of contacting her other friends. Why? Didn't they have the right to know a friend they hadn't seen for four years was so close by?

Why was Botan doing this?

Narrowing his eyes, Shuichi rose from his bed and began to change clothes. So she wouldn't answer her phone. Fine. He didn't have to call her to confront her. He knew where she lived. He _would _get answers.

A/N: So, this probably won't be a very long story, considering how fast the pace is going. I honestly didn't expect to get to this point in the second chapter, but it happened. The romance _might _start soon. I'm sorry that it seems to be taking so long, but I've got to follow the pacing of the story and the emotions of the characters. Botan and Shuichi have to get over one wall before they tackle another.


	3. T I M E

F O U R:

Chapter Three:

T I M E:

S H U I C H I

It was times like these Shuichi wished he had a car. Botan's apartment wasn't exactly close to his campus, and walking there in the middle of the night was beginning to look less and less like a good idea- but he wasn't about to turn around now. Something told him that if he stopped and went back he might think about it more in the morning, and decide to leave Botan to the seclusion she obviously wanted. There were times in one's life when one had to go on gut instinct, and this was one of those times. He wanted answers, and he wanted them _now_. He wasn't going to accept being shoved out of the ferry girl's life without an explanation.

The autumn air was beginning to chill the dark haired young man as he drew closer to the building Botan lived in. Almost there now. It was strange that only at just that moment did he begin to think about how late at night it was. Almost midnight. Surely Botan would be asleep. His step faltered again, and once more he considered going back, but- no. He had decided to do this, and he would go through with it. If he had to wake Botan up, so be it. Perhaps if she was half asleep she would be less inclined to throw him out of her apartment.

It was interesting how one's feet would sometimes move faster than one's thoughts. Shuichi hardly recalled the last few streets he had crossed before reaching the door of the apartment building. He glanced at the contraption next to the door: A keypad and speaker. Residents of the building must have been given a code to unlock the front entrance. An extra button on the keypad was used by visitors to call the front desk. If he called the front desk, they would ask who he was visiting- if visitors were even allowed in at this hour- and he would have to say Botan... But Shuichi couldn't just say Botan. He would have to supply whatever last name she used here in the human world- and he had no idea what that was. Even if he were to make a lucky guess, he wouldn't be able to get in without the front desk informing the blue haired young woman of her visitor- and considering her recent behavior, he didn't think she would let him in willingly.

So that left the keypad. A quick examination revealed to him which buttons were the most used, but.. There was no way to tell by looking what order the numbers were keyed in. The brown eyed young man knew how these kinds of locks worked. A simple six digit code- easilly remembered, but with ten digits to choose from, difficult to figure out. Even with his skills in deduction, he could only narrow it down to about twelve combinations based on the condition of the keys. He might get lucky and get it right- but then again, he might not, and if he stood around entering random passcodes, someone would get suspicious. The system was probably programmed to send out an alarm if enough incorrect codes were entered in a row. Here, too, the risk was great.

Shuichi was just asking himself how much he was willing to risk to get in when a solution appeared before him- or behind him, to be precise. A woman's voice called out, "Hey there, haven't seen you before. You new here?"

Shuichi turned to see a slightly older woman with bleached hair, loudly smacking her gum and looking at him with an appraising eye. She adjusted her heavy-looking purse, waiting for an answer. Seeing his chance, the college student put on his best bewildered look. "Um- yeah. I just moved in, and I lost the paper I had written the passcode on. I can't get in, and I've got a really important term paper to write." He rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "It's- uh- It's due tomorrow."

The woman laughed heartilly at this. "College, huh? I remember that- y'know putting off a paper like that is gonna come back to bite you in the ass, kid." Shuichi's shoulders drooped as he directed his eyes heavenward. In his most exasperated tone, he said. "Yeah, yeah, I know. Like my professor isn't on my case about it already." In reality, he was relieved- the woman didn't seem to remember that the next day was a national holiday- there wouldn't be any classes.

The woman shook her head. "Okay, okay- I'm not gonna scold you, kid. Look, I'll help you get in this one time, but how about you try memorizing the code, yeah?" She said with a conspirational wink. The young man plastered on a grateful grin. "Oh, I promise- I won't let this happen again, miss...?"

Blue eyes twinkled, and glossed lips smirked. "Yuko. Nagaki Yuko. You?"

"Todaichi Sosuke." Said Shuichi with a quick, informal bow. "Thanks Nagaki-san."

"Yuko-chan, please." Said the woman, keying in the passcode. Shuichi's eyes followed her fingers, memorizing the order and numbers of the code. "Well, there you go, Sosuke-kun. Now get up to your apartment and finish that paper. You don't have a lot of time." The woman gave a laugh and a wave, walking through the open door. "See ya later, Sosuke-kun."

"See you, Yuko-chan." Said Shuichi, entering behind her and heading for the stairs while the woman went to the elevator. All that was left to do now was ascend the stairs to Botan's place. The confrontation was looming just a few floors up.

B O T A N

Sleep was not coming easy to the immortal, and she was beginning to think she wouldn't get a wink of sleep the entire night. She was certainly emotionally exhausted, but her physical body was wide awake, complaining that it hadn't done anything to _be _tired. As irritated as she was at it, she was inclined to agree. What had she done that day to expend any energy? She had walked around her apartment, watched television, read a book, ate- she hadn't left the building the entire day!

Well, what had she to do outside of the building? She had decided against seeing any of her friends, so that was out. She had no intention of making any _new _friends during her vacation, so there was no point in socializing. Simply going down the stairs, out the door, and into the outside world, she was sure she would be confronted with reminders of her pain. She'd had to put down the book she had been reading because of its strong themes of lasting friendship- themes that struck too close to her heart, and reminded her that such friendship was well out of her reach. She'd turned off her television when she came across a chick flick about a lonely bridesmaid at her friend's wedding- the film made her think of the two weddings she had missed, and those she would certainly miss in the future.

By the end of the day, Botan had unplugged her television and radio, and had shoved the offending book under a couch cushion. The pain was too fresh, and she too sensitive, to deal with movies, songs, and books that might at all strengthen her misery- but doing nothing didn't help her, either. Without any distraction, her mind began to wonder to her friends- especially to Shuichi. Had she hurt him? Was he angry? Was that for the best? What if she regretted her actions? She had already deleted his number from her phone, and thrown out the piece of paper with Yusuke's and Kuwabara's numbers written on them. She had even erased her call history from her cell, so she wouldn't be tempted to contact anyone. Was that foolish of her? Or was that the right thing to do?

The blue haired girl pulled her soft, warm covers tightly around her, trying to convince her body to rest. Her eyelids were starting to droop, and her body was relaxing, when she heard a loud knock at her door. She yanked her covers over her head, but the knocking came again, louder and more urgent. "Go away..." She grumbled. Who could possibly be bothering her this late? The knocking had become a pounding on her door. Botan threw her covers off, dragging her feet toward the entrance of her apartment. If her "visitor" woke up her neighbors, _she'd_ be the one in trouble.

She slowly unlocked the door, and the pounding stopped. Her tired mind hadn't suspected just who would be behind that door- so the determined face of her visitor came as quite a surprise.

The last person she wanted to see.

S H U I C H I

He had predicted she would try to slam the door in his face, and stuck his foot in the doorway, ending that plan. She glared at him, but the impact of her anger was lessened by the fear evident in her features. She pushed harder on the door, shoving at his foot with her own, and grunting with the effort. He didn't say a word at this, keeping a firm hold on the doorknob and pushing back with slightly greater force. Her mussy blue mane fell in her distraught face as she resorted to stomping on his foot. As he had guessed, and as evidenced by her hair and her nightgown (a surprising orange color), she had been sleeping when he arrived. She dug her bare heel into his instep, and his none too sturdy shoes didn't cushion the impact. The pain didn't really bother him much, but he was a bit irritated at her stubbornness in getting him out of her door.

Botan's glare, which had been directed at his unyielding foot, returned to his face, meeting his eyes with anger and desparation. The pain in her pink eyes was evident as she doubled her efforts to remove him, kicking at his shin and forcing her shoulder against the door. Not a word, but grunts and groans of effort, left her lips, and Shuichi continued his silence, his brows coming together in frustration. "Get. out." Botan finally said, stomping his foot again. "Get out! Get out get out get out!" She plead, releasing the door and trying to shove him into the hall. The dark haired young man was immovable. "Leave! I told you I didn't want to see you! Go away!" She began to beat on the door with her free hand, and tears had begun to drip from her angry eyes. Her voice had been growing in volume with each syllable, and it was now nearly a shreik. "Get out! Leave me alone! I don't want you here!"

Deciding that at such a volume Botan would surely be heard by her neighbors- and the words she was crying out did not paint the prettiest of pictures- Shuichi abandoned his defensive position for offensive. Botan was by no means weak, but she was not as strong as a fighter such as himself. He put greater force on the door, overpowering the immortal and making his way into the apartment. Startled, she took a few steps back, allowing him entrance without meaning to. The dark eyed man closed the door quietly behind him, then focused those dark eyes on the distraught girl before him.

"Why have you been ignoring my calls?" He asked quietly, his expression carefully neutral. Botan seemed to have decided it was her turn to be silent. She simply glared at him, her lips sealed in a tight line, and crossed her arms over her chest. Unphased by her silence, Shuichi continued. "Why did you say you didn't want to see me anymore?" Her gaze flickered away from him, and landed unfortunately on her phone. Shuichi followed her eyes, his own narrowing. "Why did you hang up when Yukina answered the phone? Why haven't you contacted anyone? Why are you holing up in your apartment like this?" He turned his gaze back on her frightened, angry face, which had begun to take on a third emotion that was fighting for a place in her expression: guilt.

"Do you have any idea how worried I've been about you? I don't have a clue why you're doing this-" "You're right." Botan said finally. "You don't have a clue- and I'm not going to tell you-" "But why-"

"It's none of your business!" Cried Botan, the tears returning to your eyes. "Why can't you just leave me alone? Once I'm gone, you won't even think of me anymore, so why waste time on me now?" Seeming to realize what she had revealed, Botan covered her mouth with her hand, trying to stop the words that had already escaped. The calmness left Shuichi's face to be replaced with confusion. "What...? What do you mean, I won't think of you anymore?"

The angry arms over her chest became frightened hands holding herself together. She focused her gaze on something on the floor to her right, her voice shaky as she reluctantly explained. "You... You'll just go on with your life, like everyone else will. You- you won't miss me a bit. None of you will. You'll all just live your lives like I'd never been in them!" Her whole body was shaking, and not from the autumn chill. "I- I can't _do _that! It's not the same! It's not- it's not...!"

"What are you talking about?" Asked Shuichi, stepping closer to her. "We won't think about you? We won't miss you? How could we do that? You were an important part of all of our lives, Botan-"

"_Were. _Were, was, had been- Not anymore." Botan whispered, slumping over while still holding herself. "You- your lives have all- have all moved on. You've grown, you've aged- all of you- you're- you're in college. Keiko and Yusuke, Kuwa-chan and Yukina- they're married. Hiei is- is who knows where, living it up in Makai. Your lives keep moving-"

"Botan- your life- surely, it moves to-"

_"Look at me!" _Botan cried, bringing her face up to meet Shuichi's gaze. "How old do I look? How old do _you _look? Do you have any idea how many thousands of years older than you I am, and I haven't aged a day? In four years, I wouldn't have changed either- like you have- I wouldn't have changed, except- except I met all of _you! _I- I could have kept doing my job in Rekai, ignorant and happy! But I met all of you- I- I got to know and love and think of you all as my dearest friends- and then I went _back._"

Shuichi took a few more cautious steps forward, trying not to scare his upset friend, as she continued. "I went back, and for four years everything was the _same_. Every day, _the same_. Every week, _the same_. Every _year_, all the same- while you were all here, moving forward, aiming for something- and my not being there didn't affect a thing! Don't you see? When I leave Ningenkai, it doesn't have any- any impact on your lives. If I leave without ever letting Yusuke and the others know I was here, then they will be absolutely fine! I'm sure they never expected to see me again, and they've been doing fine despite that! You- you just don't understand. It isn't fair! You all had a much bigger impact on _my _life than I ever had on _yours_! You- all of you- you _ruined me!_"

Shuichi reached forward, gripping the distraught girl's shoulders tightly and meeting her crying eyes with his determined ones. "Botan, you've had a bigger impact on all of our lives than you know. If it weren't for your help, Yusuke wouldn't have come back to life- and all of the things that happened to us- they wouldn't have happened in the first place. You've always been there to support us Botan, even when it seemed like it might be the end- you were _there_. You gave us strength Botan. All of us. We all miss you. Just a few weeks ago we were all at Yusuke's house, and Keiko and Yukina were flipping through a photo album. Every single time they came across a picture of you, they would talk about how much they wished you were still with us. When they got to the pictures of Keiko's wedding, she started _crying. _And do you know why?"

Botan was so overwhelmed she couldn't even shake her head. She just stared, wide eyed, as Shuichi continued. "She said it was wrong, because there were no pictures with you in them. She wanted you there so badly."

Botan closed her eyes at this. "N-no... Even- even with all that... It doesn't _help_. It doesn't change the _facts-"_

"Does it really matter?" Shuichi interrupted her. "Yes, you'll always look younger than us- yes, you'll outlive us- but why should that matter? If there's nothing to be done about it, why torture yourself over it? All of us- we wanted to see you again- are you really going to take that away from us because we've gotten a bit older?"

Botan was past answering. Sobs wracked her body as she closed the distance between herself and her friend, clinging to him like a crying child. Not knowing what else to do, Shuichi put his arms around her. He glanced behind him at Botan's couch, and decided that- as she might be crying for some time- sitting would be much more comfortable. He guided her to the couch as best he could, with her refusal to let go of him hindering him a bit.

It was a few minutes before her crying quieted. Shuichi hadn't expected her to say anything elese, but her bitter voice rose to his ears, a bit muffled by his shirt. "And when you die?" She asked. "What am I supposed to do when you're all _gone_...?"

Shuichi didn't have an answer for that. Looking back on the conversation, he realized there were a lot of questions he didn't have an answer for- avoided answering. When Botan went back to Rekai after this... What would life be like for her?

A/N: I don't like this chapter very much... I don't know what it is, but there's something about it that just doesn't seem good enough. I'll probably rewrite it- but I would like to hear your opinions on it first. Maybe I'm just being too critical of myself. What do you all think?

Also, you'd think I would know more four-letter words, but the chapters are annoyingly difficult to name.


	4. W A K E

F O U R

Chapter four:

W A K E:

S H U I C H I

It hadn't been his intent to stay over at Botan's apartment, and he couldn't remember falling asleep. However, Shuichi Minamino found himself on that same pink sofa he had sat comforting the blue haired girl on when he woke- and her nowhere in any of the rooms. He had made a round of the apartment looking for her, but her absence was clear- and not even a note to tell him where she had gone. Shuichi sat back down on the sofa, exasperated. She wasn't pulling _another _vanishing act, was she? No- Botan wasn't stupid. She knew he would be able to find her if she did try to cut ties with him again. It was more likely that she had stepped out for a bit, and hadn't bet on him waking up when she left- no. That wasn't it. It was _most _likely that she _had _bet on him waking up, and had planned her little outing so that she would be gone when he did.

He couldn't blame her, really. It would be more than a little bit awkward, after what had transpired the night before. Baring her heart like that could not have been easy, and it was likely the pink eyed girl needed time to calm down before she faced him again.

With his decision that sitting around waiting for Botan to come back would not be a good idea for either of them, Shuichi stood up and did one more round of the house, this time looking for an object instead of a person. It felt a bit like snooping, so the dark eyed young man did his best to limit the possible locations so as not to pry into her personal things. Botan was a fairly practical person, so she would keep something like a pen and paper in a convenient place. This hypothesis was confirmed after a very short venture into Botan's bedroom- which felt _very _intrusive, so Shuichi walked out and closed the door behind him almost as soon as he had found what he needed on her dresser. Still, he had noticed some details during that short search.

Most everything in the room was girlish colors- shades of pink and purple with sunny pops of yellow- which fit Botan's personality well enough. A few exceptions to this were her clock (an odd little green cat-shaped thing with eyes that followed him around the room), a blue stuffed animal that was obviously hand-made and very familiar looking, and a blue picture frame sitting next to the notebook he had found. He had been a little surprised to see it- Botan had seemed so unable to handle anything related to their friends, he had to wonder why it was there. He realized, though, why she had that picture sitting front and center on her dresser. He realized it when he saw his much younger face in the picture with the young faces of all of their friends.

That photo was more than five years old.

He couldn't be sure when it was taken- perhaps around the end of the Dark Tournament? All he could be sure of were the ages of the photo's subjects. He, Yusuke, and Kuwabara in middle school- and Hiei at the very least _looking _as if he could be- and Botan... This photo was likely a great source of Botan, because of that one fact he had noticed when his eyes drifted to Botan's grinning face.

Five, six- those years ago, Botan had been the one to appear older than the rest. A high schooler among middle schoolers, she seemed. A time when human aging did not seem real to her.

He spent a few moments gazing at that picture- at all of the smiling faces (and the one frowner) gazing back at him. Yusuke and Kuwabara with huge goofy grins, Hiei frowning but resigned, a small smile on his own face, and- his eyes rested on Botan's face yet again. A bright, happy grin spread across her face, her eyes bright with joy. He could tell just by looking at the picture- even if he couldn't remember when or where it had been taken- that she was having the time of her life. It wasn't an expression Shuichi had seen on her face in a while, and he couldn't help but smile back at that happy image. Then, remembering what he had come for, he quickly tore a page from the notebook next to the frame, grabbed one of the three or four pens sitting on the dresser, and left the room, carefully shutting the door behind him.

B O T A N

Botan stuck her ponytailed head in the door, looking the apartment carefully over to see if Shuichi was inside. To her relief, he seemed to have vacated, so she opened the door fully and stepped inside. As she locked the door, she did one more scan, in case he was hiding somewhere. Realizing how ridiculous the thought was, Botan laughed a bit self-depreciatingly. She was beginning to get quite paranoid, wasn't she?

Heaving a sigh, the immortal flopped down on her sofa. How fortunately she had timed her return- Shuichi had gone, just as she had hoped. The thought was a bit cold, but Botan knew for a fact that she wasn't up to facing Shuichi again after what had happened the night before. She really didn't think she was up to ever facing him again, but he had made it quite clear that _that _wasn't an option. She had thought about it, though. Most of the pink eyed girl's walk had been spent thinking of new ways to avoid Shuichi.

If she changed apartments- but if she was still in the same building, he could find her easilly. That plan was out the moment it was born. Perhaps, she had thought, if she moved to a new building- somewhere on the other side of town? After all, Shuichi had been able to find her so easilly because he had been to her building before- if she went somewhere else, somewhere he had never been to, then maybe- but, no. It had become clear to her that, if Shuichi wanted to find her, he could- no matter where she hid.

There was a moment, walking through a park painted with autumn leaves, when Botan considered ending her vacation entirely. It was the simplest solution- she could just throw herself into work and try to forget about everything. It wouldn't be that hard- right? She would forget eventually, wouldn't she?

However, Botan had worked hard to earn this vacation. Sure, she wasn't actually doing anything on her vacation, but her workload as head ferry girl got ridiculously heavy sometimes- she had earned a break from it all! If she went back to Rekai, Koenma would probably disregard the vacation time she had left and toss more work at her. At the very least, this vacation was a chance to rest!

All considered, this meant she had absolutely no way to avoid Shuichi.

With a heavy sigh of exasperation, Botan's head drooped on her shoulders. It was then she noticed the piece of paper on her coffee table. That hadn't been there before- she picked it up, scanning the neat, familiar handwriting.

_Botan, _it said, _I've gone back to my dorm for now. Thank you for allowing me to sleep on your couch. I'm sorry I had to impose on you like that. _Pink eyes reached the final line of writing, an inch or so below the rest- seemingly written as an after-thought.

_That picture on your dresser is a bit old. You might consider having a new one taken._

Only moments after reading that line, Botan crumpled up the note and threw it angrilly against a wall. She cursed uncharacteristically, "Damn it, Shuichi! That's my business! I'll keep the old photo if I want to!" How dare he- that photo was personal! What was he doing in her room, anyway? Botan brought her palm to her forehead in frustration. He had a point, though. Holding on to those old memories certainly wasn't doing her any good. Still, getting a new photo would require seeing her friends. So he was on about _that _again.

With a groan, Botan stretched across the couch, resting her chin on the far arm. As she did this, she noticed an odd lump in her couch. Sitting up and reaching between the cushions, she retrieved the book she had shoved under them the day before- but that wasn't the lump she had felt. Furrowing her brow, she dug further between the pink cushions. Finally, she found the offending object- a small leather wallet. She considered it with more than a bit of confusion. Her wallet was yellow and shaped like a cat's head- this definitely didn't belong to her. So, how did it get there?

The blue haired girl opened the wallet up, looking for some form of I.D.- to her surprise, familiar dark eyes looked up at her from the photo on the card she found. So, that was how it had ended up in her couch- it must have fallen out of one of Shuichi's pockets.

This posed a problem. Shuichi would notice it was missing soon, and would probably come back to look for it- but Botan still wasn't ready to see him face to face again. So, she would just call him and ask where she could deliver it to (and make sure he wouldn't be around when she did)- but, as she picked up her phone. her mind drew a blank. What was his number again? The pink eyed girl couldn't remember a digit of it. _Oh, wait- my cell phone!_

The immortal grabbed her little purple cell, going into her phonebook to find- absolutely nothing. "Oh- that's right- I erased it... Crap. Well, it ought to be in my call history!" However, she soon remembered that she had cleared _that _too. Botan had absolutely no means to contact Shuichi and tell him about the wallet. She groaned pitifully. She knew the name of the university he was attending, so she could probably find his dorm just by asking someone who worked there, but... If she couldn't call him first, she would have no idea whether he was there or not- so, whether she wanted to or not, she might end up having to face him again far before she was ready to.

She could wait for him to call her, or come over again- it was entirely conceivable that he would. It was the _when _that was the issue. Shuichi was a pretty nice guy (well, most of the time, anyway), so he would probably give her some time to get things sorted out on her own before he tried to contact her again- but he would probably need his wallet pretty soon, and he might not immediately think he had left it in her apartment.

Botan let out another groan. Through her efforts to avoid him, she had made it nearly impossible to not go out and meet him in person very, _very _soon.

So, what could she do but grab a coat and head right back out the door?

This was how Botan found herself- after much searching and going back and forth between various offices and employees- standing in front of Room 242, Honors dormitory. The wallet was clutched in her tense, nervous hand. It would be easy, she told herself. If she could just hand him the wallet and leave, she would be fine.

Just as she gathered her courage and reached up to knock, she heard a voice coming from down the hall.

"He could be _busy_, Yusuke! You really should have checked with Shuichi-kun before we left!"

"Yeah, you've said that _ten times _already, Keiko. We're already here, so what would be the point of calling now?"

"I'm saying you should have done it earlier!"

Botan stood frozen, staring at, but not seeing the door, as the squabbling voices drew closer and closer. She wanted so much to move- to run- but her body wouldn't heed her mind's orders. Those two voices definitely, without a doubt, belonged to Yusuke and Keiko Urameshi. Two people she hadn't planned on seeing again- ever. Two people she hadn't wanted to know about her presence in ningenkai. Two people coming right toward her, about to turn the corner and see her still form in front of Shuichi's door.

"Hm? I think someone's already here to visit him, Yusuke. Excuse me, are you-

Moments after Keiko turned the corner, Botan dropped the wallet and took off, yanking the hood of her coat over her head as quickly as she could. It was a dumb move- she could have just put her hood up and walked calmly away- pretended to just be passing by Shuichi's room on her way somewhere else- but she had done the stupidest, most suspicious thing she could have done, and ran away.

Botan prayed Keiko had only caught a glimpse of her.

S H U I C H I

The dark haired young man was, of course, used to Yusuke's unexpected visits by now. He usually didn't mind unless he was in the middle of a paper or other assignment. Even then, it was only a minor annoyance. That day, though, Shuichi was not surprised to find he was more than a little bit irritated at Yusuke and Keiko's surprise arrival at his door. He admonished himself for it- they were his friends, and it wasn't as if they had _meant _to come at such a bad time, but... His mind was in a bit of a jumble, and he wasn't very sure of his ability to not let on that something was bothering him- much as he thought they should know about it, he planned on staying true to his word about not telling them that Botan was in ningenkai.

That plan was nearly destroyed by Keiko's preceptiveness and sheer coincidence.

"Hey, Kurama!" Yusuke crowed when Shuichi opened the door. Keiko greeted him a bit more calmly, with his proper name, before holding out a very familiar leather wallet. The brunette explained that she had spotted a younger girl standing in front of the door when she turned the corner, but when she called out, the girl dropped the wallet and ran.

"I guess I must have dropped it somewhere." Shuichi replied, with a good guess as to where he had dropped it and who had returned it. "She was probably just going to return it- you two might have scared her."

"I suppose so..." Keiko mused. "Weird, though- I mean, she looked awfully young to be dying her hair such a strange color- you would think her school had rules against that sort of thing." Shuichi fought to keep his expression neutral- his visitors must have gotten a better glimpse of Botan than he had thought. Or, at the very least, Keiko had.

"Eh? What color was it?" Yusuke wondered. "Pink, or something?" His wife shook her head. "No. Blue- light blue."

"Really? How odd." Shuichi said, trying to inject as much sincerity into his tone as possible. It was certainly going to be difficult to keep Botan's presence a secret now that Keiko had seen her. "Wow, I haven't seen anyone with blue hair since Botan left." Said Yusuke, giving Shuichi another jolt. Talking about her certainly wouldn't help- if Keiko got even the slightest suspicion that the girl she had seen was in fact Botan, Shuichi wasn't sure how well he would be able to dissuade her from the truth.

He was certainly having to run circles to keep the immortal's secret- Botan had better let the others in on the secret soon.

After the couple had left, Shuichi looked at the leather wallet Botan had returned to him. That was progress, at least. The blue haired girl had risked seeing him again before she was quite ready, all for the sake of returning it- he supposed she wasn't quite as angry as he had predicted over his little message. It was something- a small step.

_Small steps..._

An idea sprung to Shuichi's mind. Surely it would be a bit more time before Botan was ready to see everyone again for that new photo he had mentioned, but perhaps something on a smaller scale would help her to reach that point. He knew just how to do it, too.

A night, or a day ago, that little thought in the back of his mind would have nagged at him again- telling him that he was getting too involved. That thought did not rear its head now, and Shuichi did not notice its absence, or the greater change building that its absence signified. It was surprising for such an intelligent young man to be so unobservant- but it wouldn't be the last thing he failed to notice.

Reasons were changing.

A/N: Don't hurt me- I'm so sorry this chapter took so long! For one thing, the characters were not cooperating with me (which is for the best, I suppose- the original draft would've moved the plot much too fast to make sense), so that was an issue. Still, I think this version of the chapter turned out well. Also- woo! Relationship developement! In the last freakin' paragraph! I'm sorry. Also, _also woo(!), _Keiko and Yusuke showed up- and said maybe five lines! I'm sorry.

It's pretty bad that I'm apologizing so much, isn't it? Well, we are our own worst critics, I suppose. Not a lot of Shuichi this chapter- or does it just seem that way because of the huge block of Botan narrative in the middle? The chapters are usually divided more evenly, but... This one was a bit more about Botan. Most of the chapters are going to be Botan-centric for a while, I think. Shuichi hasn't come up against his wall yet, so there's not a whole lot to write about him outside of his involvement in Botan's situation. It'll get there, though.

You know, you wouldn't think listening to a loop of a song that had absolutely nothing to do with the current story would help me write so much, but it somehow did. Thank you, Rocky Horror!

Almost missed the obvious celebratory point- F O U R has reached _**chapter **__**four.**_ Okay, not really that big a deal, but one more chapter and it's my longest fanfic ever (don't look for a four chapter story on my author's page- you won't find it- I wrote it years ago and it was a piece of crap)! So, yeah, happy about that.


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